Chapter One: Welcome to Geezerland
"All right, Birdena, get in the truck!" Cinnamon Swirly ordered, shoving Birdena in the truck. Clemintina slammed the doors shut, and hopped in the front seat. "NO!" Birdena screeched. "NO, YOU CAN'T BRING ME THERE! I'M TO YOUNG!". "You're going on 90, you old hag!" snapped Cinnamon Swirly. "BUT I WANT TO LIVE LIFE TO THE EXTREME!". "You knit for a living! Now quiet down!" Clemtina growled. "Whip her, Swirly!". Cinnamom Swirly turned around and cracked Birdena with a whip. "OOOOWWWW!" Birdena shrieked. Quickly, she pulled out her Hag Button, and pressed it. "Fool!" Swirly said. "We disabled that cheap crap when we through you in the truck!". Clementina was drving fast, weaving through the traffic. "Here it is, Geezer Groves!". The truck turned onto a mansion-sized building, and haulted in front of the double doors. "Welcome to Geezerland!" shouted Clementina, taking Birdena out of the truck and kicking her into the building. She slammed the doors behind her.
Chapter Two: Inhabitants
The room was dark. Birdena fumbled around, then suddenly tripped around something fleshy and wrinkly. "What was that?!" a voice said. "Turn the lights on, you idiot!" said another. Birdena heard a click and lights illuminated the room. Birdena was surrounded by geezers. "Hoe do you do, youngn'?" one asked. "I'm Roberta, and this is Unga," she said, pointing to the elder next to her. "That's Ygraine, Mariam, Lorraine, and Wanda". "What's your name?" asked Unga. "Shut up, you twerp, I need to get out of here!". "WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!!" Unga bellowed. Birdena stepped back. "Remember your blood pressure, Unga" said Ygraine. "My name is Birdena!" Birdena said finally. The crowd of geezers oo-ed and aah-ed. "Birdena!". "Haven't heard that one in ages!". "Now that's a classic!". Roberta said, "What an old name! How old are you, bunches?". "I'm 90 and going on strong! Now clam it, Wrinkle Bag!". Wanda shook her head. "Tsk, tsk, bad mouth, this one". Birdena seemed. "Hey, guys!" a crusty voice said as a door opened. Four old men hobbled into the room. "Hey, Gerald, we got a newbie" said Roberta. "My, my, isn't she old?" said Gerald, poking Birdena with his cane. Birdena grabbed his cane and snapped it in two. "Go die in a hole, Cob Web Ears!". "And a nasty mouth". Wanda nodded. "That's what I told her". Gerald said, "Birdena, I'd like you to meet Henry, Leroy, and Eustance". The three hags waved. Birdena grunted back. The lights suddenly went out again. "EVERY STOP!" Clementina said from an intercom. "IT'S TIME TO EAT!"
Chapter Three: Feeding Time
The hags groaned. "Oh, my aching back," Mariam moaned. "I don't think I can ake another meal" Leroy mumbled. "What?" asked Birdena. "What's wrong?". "READY TO EAT! AH HA HA HA HA!" Clemtina yelled. A sound like a bomb coming down filled the room. "Hide me!" Unga cried. A blob of slop came down form the darkness at a racing speed. "Run!" Roberta hollered. The elders started slowly hobbling in all differnent directions. The blob hit Leory right in the face, and he plopped down to the ground. More blobs zipped down from the ceiling. Birdena saw one heading striaght for her. Quickly, she grabbed Mariam and shoved her in fornt of herself. the slop tore straight into Mariam's mouth, and she too fell to the ground. It was a battle field, slop raining everywhere. "Bunches!". Birdena turned around to see Roberta hiding under a purse umbrella. "Hurry! Over here!". Birdena started running towards the hag. She heard a slop bomb, and it was getting close. "Hurry!" Roberta urged. When Birdena was close enough, she snatched the umbrella, and pushed Roberta away. "NOOOOOOOOO!" Roberta cried. the slop hit the old lady hard, pushing her all the way to the wall. "DESSERT!" said Clementina. Birdena heard a metallic sound as the ceiling opened up, and down fell a giant cake. PLOP went the cake on the ground, covering the remaining geezers. "Uuuhhh..." Wanda was the first one to crawl out of the cake. Next was Gerald, than Eustance, than Unga than the rest. They were all covered in slop and frosting. "Where's Roberta?" Mariam asked. Everyone looked at Birdena. "Uhhh...". "Here she is!" Wanda was hobbling over the Roberta, who was still slouched against the wall. Birdena pulled out her doctors equippment. "I'm a doctor" she said. She wiped off the slop, and checked her pulse. The hags waited intensley..."She's dead".
Chapter Four: The Army Arises
"She killed her!" Ygraine screeched. The band of elders circled Birdena. "Listen, it wansn't my fault, you idiots!" Birdena tried resoning with them. "GET HER!". The had swung there canes at Birdena, who searched for a place to escape. The closest place was a heshe bathroom. Birdena swung the door opened, and spotted a open window above the toilet. "DON'T TRY TO RUN!" Wanda hollered. Birdena climbed on top of the toilet, and clasped onto the window. "FLUSH HER!" Gerald cried. Wanda swung open the toilet seat and flushed it. Birdena was hanging above spiraling waters! She felt the old people tugging on her legs. "Let go, you fools!" pleaded Birdena. She pulled out her knitting needles and stabbed Wanda with the pointed end. "Oww!" Wanda screeched. Birdena pulled herself thorugh the window, and climbed onto the roof of Geezer Groves. She was about four floors up. Wanda had followed her, now carrying her own needles. "TRY ME!" she threatened. Birdena swung her needles at Wanda, who quickly, blocked them with her own. The other hags had climbed onto the roof. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!". Wanda spun around, and jabbed her needles at Birdena. "Ow!" Birdena exclaimed, toppling backwords, now flat on her back. Wanda held her needles likes swords, and swung at Birdena. Birdena blocked them with hers. Suddenly, Wanda's needles snapped. "Nooo!" she cried as she fell over Birdena, falling straight off the building. "I knew it was better to buy oak wood needles!" Birdena called after her, smiling. "Stop right there!" someone said. Birdena spun around. Clementina and Swirly were standing in front of the rest of the old hags. "You may have defeated two of our hags" Clemtina said. "But you'll never defeat the rest of our HAG ARMY!!!". The amount of hags tripled as old people filed out of the bathroom window, flooding the roof's surface. "Now, Birdena" Clementina continued. "We will give you mercy if you bow down to us, adn join our army of elders!". Birdena shook her head. "Never!". Clemtina smiled. "Very well. DESTROY HER!!!". The hags marched forwords. Birdena swung her needles, taking out two hags. But more kept coming! Birdena ran through the crowd, and pushed Clemtina to the ground. "DIE!" Birdena shrieked. "NO!" protested Clemtina, grabbed Birdena's wrists and getting on her feet. She started swinging her around. Birdena felt like she was going to barf. Clemtina let go, and Birdena went flying straight into Ygraine. "THAT'S IT!" she shouted. "We elders are sick of you bossing us around!". "YA!" the crowd agreed "LET'S GET HER!" Mariam cried. "YA!". The crowd cornered Clemtina. "Wait, stop! No!". The pushed her back, and she fell back thorugh the bathroom window, and headfirst into the toilet. Quickly, she got back up, and started running into the big room. "You think that can stop me? FOOLS!". "Oh ya?" said a voice. Clementima looked up. Roberta was on the intercom! "Than try this!". A bomb noise was heard, and a giant peice of slob came down like a torpedo, hitting Clemintina like a bomb. The was a massive explosion, and all of Geezer Groves was wiped out.
The only ones killed in the explosion were Clemtina and Cinnamon Swirly, and Birdena went back to JMN Studios, leaving all the elders to live as hobos on the street. They found Wanda's dead body on the pavement, and Roberta was actually alive and faking it the whole time!