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Mia: Nut! Why are all these people here?

Nut: One of them's going to be your substitute. It's the judge for a day raffle sweepstakes!

Mia: Thanks, Nut, you're a life saver, that judge convention just can't wait. I'll be back the day after tomorrow.

[Mia exits]

Nut: Everyone, it's time to choose the raffle winner!

[Crowd cheers]

Nut: Who's number 18,755?

[Buck enters]

Buck: Guuuuuuuullll! That's me! I win! I win, I win, I win!

Nut: Buck? You can't be the judge, you're not suited for the job!

Buck: Are you kidding? I'm the ONLY one for this job!

[Turdsley enters]

Turdsley: Buck...[sniff]...when you're a judge, [sniff], be sure to remember the little people! [runs away crying].

[Turdsley exits]

Buck: Mmmmmm...Judge Buck; I like the sound of that!

[Buck exits]

Nut: Well, at least it's just one day...

Announcer: The next day!

Nut: The case is about to start, where is he?

[Buck enters]

Buck: Hey, assistantypoo

Nut: Where have you been?! You're 2 hours late!

Buck: Judges get whatever they want, right? So I decided to sleep in. Oh, the reminds me! Assistant, get me my coffee. I take a black, 5 sugars.

Nut: Hey, I'm not your slave!

Buck: But I'm the judge now; that means I get whatever I want! 'know what I mean? Yuk yuk yuk!

[Buck gets in judge's seat]

Buck: Mmmmm! Comfy!

Nut: Do you even know what a judge does?

Buck: Uhhhh...they sit in this chair and give orders, right? Like a king?

Nut: Uhhh! No, they judge cases!

Buck: Yawn. Hey! Where's my coffee?!

Nut: Uhhhh...

[Nut goes and gets coffee]

Nut: Here's your coffee, Judge Buck

Buck: [slurps coffee] Puuuhhh! I said I'd take a BLACK FIVE SUGARS!

[throws coffee cup at Nut]

Nut: You know, Buck, I've been thinking...maybe you're not...the best person for this job.

Buck: Whatev. It can't be that hard, I mean, if Mia can do it, anyone can.

Nut: Grrrrr! Oh, the case is starting!

Anouncer: Yuk y-y-yuk yuk yuuuuk!

Nut: All rise for Judge...Buck...

Announcer: Elmer is suing Hipper, for making fun of his face in public!

Nut: Psst, Buck. First you gotta get the details on why Elmer is suing Hipper.

Buck: I will once you get me some phonebooks! I can't see anything over this desk!


[Nut puts phonebook under Buck]

Buck: Mmmm! Comfy on my tushy! Oh, ready...uh, what was the case again?

Elmer: I'm suing Hipper, because she made fun of my face in public.

Buck: Guuuulll! I never would have guessed! YUK yuk yuk!

Elmer: [stunned face]

[crowd gasps]

Hipper: Exactly my point. It's hard not to make fun!

Elmer: You guys! Look, judge, she was really mean! She said it looked like I had 2 golf balls resting on my head!

Hipper: Fore! [punches Elmer in the face]

Elmer: [crying] See? That was horrible!

Buck: Actually, no, the joke was subtle and perfectly timed.

Hipper: Finally, someone understands my passion!

Nut: Uh, Buck? I'd advise you to lay low on the insults...

Elmer: [criyng] ...You're the worst judge ever!

[crowd gasps]

Nut: Oh no, I can't watch!


[commercial break]

Announcer: Elmer is suing Hipper, for making fun of his face in public

Nut: Buck! You're letting this substitute judge thing get to your head!

Buck: Nonsense!...excecute Elmer

[crowd gasps]

Hipper: Oh ho ho ho!

Elmer: Aaahhh! AaaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Nut: No, Buck, you can't do this!

Buck: I just did!

[guillotine noises]

Buck: Now get me some graham crackers and apple juice or you're fired! All in a day's work. Yuk yuk yuk yuk!

Buck's Lil' WorldEdit

Buck: Remember, kids. Be responsible!

Queen Kong: Buck! I'm going out for the afternoon and I want your room cleaned when I get back, you hear?

Buck: Okay, Mom!

Announcer: That night!

[Queen Kong looks at Buck's messy room]


[video game sounds]

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